The Number One Girl - 2005

Director: Luc Campeau

Writer :  Douglas W. Miller

Genre : gangster/action adventure

Rating :  R for language, violence and some sexual content.

Cast: Vinnie Jones, Tony Schiena, Lisa McAllister

   This movie is one of the worst overall movies I have ever seen a complete drag fest. The camera work is bad, the screenplay truly sucks, and the few action sequences fail to give action. I would say the only good thing in this movie is Vinnie Jones, as a good actor will remain good, despite what he's given to betray. 
Everything about The Number One Girl is dead on arrival. The action archetype send up, the chemistry between the two leads, the fact they're filming on public, non-closed off streets around London with members of the public looking in on the shooting, the manner in which I'm pretty sure the Nigerian contestant's name changes half way through, the way in which the film descends into messy, brainless thumping and pounding as violence and fighting becomes the order of the day when Jones goes absolutely spare out of the blue when two characters are actually dumb enough to cavort in front of everyone, it's big, loud and dumb whilst not much fun. Somewhere in there is some sort of statement about 'What is entertainment?' and 'What do we accept to be perfectly fine televisual content these days?' with the whole finale to do with going so far enough to kill someone in front of a packed TV audience, but it's all hopelessly lost in a hapless and painful exercise. The Number One Girl is an absolute disaster, a train wreck, a motorway pile-up, a capsizing of a ship all happening at once as a comet crashes into the ongoing madness and mayhem. One wonders what might happen if you were to bring this film up in a mocking fashion whilst in Vinnie Jones' presence, more of the immediate above, I would think.

 3/10 Stars